I'm usually not one for giving those who are unfamiliar with my situation as a whole, insight as to my private affairs, especially those concerning women. I am a die-hard believer in not kissing and telling, out of respect for yourself but more importantly, so that the other party doesn't get offended and the kissing continues. If you've ever had a significant other find out you were sharing stories or photos of your bedroom escapades, you can relate to the importance of this unspoken law. But I understand that many of you might be confused as to why the She-Devil post found it's way onto this blog site. As most of you are aware, amongst the material covered is the uber-crucial (crucial if you hope to have a son to carry on your name one day) topic of women.
I don't believe however, that most articles or forums cover the types of women that men encounter. In a step to alter that I decided to reference a personal experience that I have been wrestling with for awhile. Until I recently decided to settle down, I have for most of my life been a bachelor. Content in all aspects, (lets fix that) most aspects of the lifestyle that a single man making his way through the journey that is life can be afforded. Most of the women I have encountered have quite easily fed into my desires, thoughts, and ideas with enough persuasion. Little did I know this was to change with the introduction of a certain lady in my life. Although not a model of sweet innocence, she in her bold and direct approach to my ughh... What's the word? Hmmm... Oh yeah, bullshit. Taught me more about myself in one conversation than I've learned or have readily admitted to myself in living 22 splendid years of life.
In a dash of speed and a burst of light, my adult dating life made sense, because for the most part I've treaded my relationships as a fawn would a slaughterhouse. I realized that in fear of having my heartbroken, I was in the bad business of breaking the hearts of others. This of course was never my intention, but we all know the "road to hell..." and yada yada. Although I did care, I led these girls on, and they clung to the hope that "they" might be able to change me or my mind, a great miscalculation. Hope is simultaneously the tragic flaw and greatest strength of the human race. We cannot ignore it because it is the source of some of our greatest achievements, and in doing so would only leave us in a perpetually dark state emotionally. I played on this and have dealt in the very unfortunate business of leaving a trail of bitter women. I tried unsuccessfully to sway her in the way most of my worldly charms have been known. A complete and utter waste of time, hers more so than mine.
She left me in a stupor and it made me want her more. I fought and fought refuting all her claims and trying to convince her of the strength of my emotion when I in fact, was trying to convince myself. Later, in retrospect, I found that I did care for her, but not truly, at least in the way I conveyed. Men, this is a woman who is reminiscent of the lioness, she does and speaks of her own accord and there is a silent dependency there from the alpha male, in addition to a silent respect. After all she is the backbone of the pride, no? It was an awakening of sorts, I treasure this particular woman now, more than I ever have. It is my silent wish that we may one day enjoy each others company, but until then, the trail of broken hearts will cease.
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