The purpose of this article is to simply offer advice/tips, to the many men out there whose hands grow clammy at the thought of approaching and striking up a conversation with a woman. Now as men, 95% of us are defaulted to a natural neanderthalism when it comes to beginning and continuing a conversation with a woman. Especially one we find highly attractive (naturally I'd assume she'd have to be in order for you to be interested in approaching her). Now the first step is in addressing the approach anxiety. Men as is our curse seem to hold women on a much higher pedestal than ourselves. Not for admirable reasons such as being the pro-creators for our species, as well as their absurdly intense ability to serve as caretakers in any environment. They hold or rather have what we desire and therefore it dawns on us, since we usually seek them out, we have nothing they want for already. Further lowering our stock. Plain and simple a dime bleeds like you and I, and I promise when she lays a number two down in the john, it smells no better than yours. Unless of course you are a fan of taco bell.
Moving on...
Once the initial fear is recognized and lessened by the thought the woman you're about to approach, just took a mean one in the ladies room before stepping out on the floor (or whatever your mental psych method, to each his own). You MUST learn to respond immediately. Therefore I live and die by the 3 second rule, that is as soon as you see a female you are interested in approach her within 3 seconds of seeing her. This allows you an advantage in that your fear really doesn't have time to register and or you aren't supplied enough time to run through the various reasons she might turn you down.
Case and point, after moving to Jacksonville, Florida I found myself perusing through one of the local malls. When I spotted the most beautiful Latina I've ever seen in my life, working in one of the stores. I mean I probably was on the verge of drooling and in the throws of a seizure when our wayward glances met. She smiled I smiled back, she smiled again, and as is my defense mechanism with most girls when I'm afraid to approach, I kept walking with cocky purpose as if I had something better to do. I for lack of words whose meaning so clearly outline sufficiently my mistake... FUCKED UP. As fate would have it I made a trip there again, this time into the store. I was initially approached by one of her male co-workers when she smiled approached and said "I got this" a clear indication of an invitation to act on her interest. Guess what I did, froze. Moral of the story? Opportunity is a wanton goddess who rewards those that would make her work for them when she appears.
Conversation topics and conversation starters vary, depending on the type of female you believe you are approaching. However looks can be deceiving and initially looks are all we have to go off of. I find its always better to make an attempt at a conversation that is mentally stimulating. Too many guys have tried the "Excuse me, you're so unbelievably beautiful..." approach. As logically appealing as the concept of flattery is, its overused and of little consequence to a woman who knows how good she looks already. You'll be just another one out of the 25 guys that approached her that day and said the same thing. I agree wholeheartedly with the position to slyly tease her and point out her flaws in a playful, but confident way. Women possess the at times uncontrollable urge to please, so she will start finding ways to validate herself to you. Validate meaning the response she gives, in reply to the playfully light negative comment you threw at her. Especially if she's a ten, she will be eager to find ways to again place herself ahead of the game and re-assert herself to and reassure you of her position as cream of the crop. A great tool that you should be careful not to overuse. Also learn to touch on what YOU are interested in. We encounter a lot of roadblocks in conversation because we feel there is a script we must follow... I say nay my fellow kinsmen. Hi, how are you, where do you work, what do you like to do, do you have kids, can you read at at least a 5th grade level, etc hahaha stay away from that awfully predictable script of typical conversation.
But wait! We need to start the conversation first! I being a bit more confident am very fond of bold introductions and have rarely been disappointed by the result. For example one of my approaches would be to walk up to a female and say "Now how do you suppose in such a busy setting on a Saturday night a woman as beautiful as yourself is sitting down at the bar?" Woman smiles " I don't know why don't you tell me?" I reply "Well I could tell you the rest of the guys here are blind, but they must be avoiding you for some reason, you look like trouble." She replies "Is that so, or "Is that right?" And I say "Well I don't know, a dance might tell me." That is a conversation tried and true. The introduction is the hardest part. Just like a good book, all you have to do is get past the first page.
Now as conversation ensues tap into her interests as they are relevant to your interests. Logically if you both share common ground touch on it. Common sense would dictate conversation flows freely between two people who are like-minded in their thoughts, ideas, and actions . Wake the hell up and listen to what she's saying, a huge turn-off is a man who isn't attentive to the interests of the fairer sex he's trying to court.
Above all comrades, you must understand this a woman no matter how cautious, wants to be swept off of her feet. This being said, all a woman really wants is reassurance. That whether she gives into you that night or 2 months down the line, you'll still be there. In that way you should separate yourself from our brothers with less honorable intentions. To be a lover of women and eventually when you are ready the exclusive lover of a single woman is the goal. Only a man with no respect for himself or women would ignore the sensitivity required to address the various issues that are present in the female psych.
How is this relevant? The environment in which you are approaching guys, women are on their guard at clubs and at bars as the unbreakable chain of 5 friends holding hands on the dance floor proves haha. They are on man alert although their sexy outfits and hinting dance moves say otherwise. Increase your chances by taking the element of surprise, a cafe, a store, a train, etc. You'd be surprised at how well this works.
I hope I was able to help a tad and touch on some important things. Jay and I look to bring you more tips and such in the future...
Till then my fellow brethren
Cheers
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