What is attractive to a woman... Personal traits and appearance

Hello again all,

Funnily enough it has been my experience in observing at times much to my viewing pleasure the failed attempts men make at attracting women. From ridiculously pathetic methods that range from the outlandish to the completely unimaginable. One of the methods I enjoy watching and making fun of the most is the so called "peacock method" or "peacocking". This is a term meant to describe men who would rather attract women with various accessories, extremely bright colors, and unnecessary trinkets rather than on the merit of his prowess, wit, and presentation. Cowardly, is how best to describe it. Why hide your true self behind items that hold no relation to your lifestyle, life experiences, or you as a person? After all once you get past the early phases of dating in order to keep her around for the long haul, she has to care for you as you are and for what you are.

Fellas the rules are simple, and have stood the test of time as true as any other law we live by today. Best put by ZZ-Top , "Every woman's crazy about a sharp-dressed man..." First to dispell a terrible myth. It has been my fortunate and equally unfortunate lot in life to dress well. Born and raised for most of my life in Brooklyn, NY on Farragut Rd one of the rougher spots in that borough. The influence was there to adopt the fashion culture, luckily I had a mother who knew better, and rather than Pepe jeans sagging of my hindparts and a baggy Fubu hoody I was clothed in collared shirts corduroys and polished shoes. And so formed my relatively stable and fashionably sound vision of style. Occasionally I deviated in my teenage years, and dabbled in various clothing choices to better familiarize myself with what was out there in relation to what was comfortable to me and relevant to my style.

I did the draped in Abercrombie from head to toe and sandals year round look. I flirted with the express graphic tees, distressed jeans, converses, eye contacts, and multiple ear piercings. And finally a brief affair with the artsy rocker who basically lived inside urban outfitters' bdg skinny jeans, and v necks, with the combination of vans and ear gauges adding the finishing touches. Having traversed through so many phases, I have found that jeans so tight they pass for women's jeggings and looking like a black guido was not who I was or am. Nor is it essentially what any of us are.

How is this relevant Valentino? I'll tell you. Men who dress well are constantly mistaken as homosexual or metrosexual. A grave mistake. And so follows the stigma among men associated with dressing well and caring for yourself. You know, he knows, they know, and we all know and are all too familiar with this bad rap. What does it say that a well-dressed straight man is considered gay by a woman, who is basically saying you're too well put together to be straight? It is a sad sad statement for the deplorable condition in which men keep themselves nowadays. Now if you want to attract Sally Joe and you know for a fact the hard working worn clothes and dirt under your nails look turns her on then go for it. Likewise if Shanae digs the newest jordans and moschino shirt with fake jewelry go ahead and deck yourself out brotha man. But for all of us who know better (aka have common sense) this is a non-negotiable rule. You MUST improve your wardrobe and your personal care regimen.

Dressing better doesn't mean you need to wear a suit and tie 24/7 but to wear clothes in line with your style and polish it up a bit. For example, trade in the horrendously tacky ed hardy brand shirt with the rhinestones that make you look like a 17 year old girl and go classic with a navy, grey, yellow, orange, etc (depending on the season brighter colors in the warmer months) polo and stylish khakis that are slim in the leg. Dress how you want to feel gentleman. You can even do sneakers but make sure they are timeless pieces such as the adidas samba or converse by ed purcell. Guaranteed to be cheaper than the new lebrons or jordans and in all likelihood a better investment. Mix and match different things to suit your personal style. If you're adventurous try scarves or other accessories in moderation. One necklace, a nice watch, etc or maybe a simple brown leather cuff around the wrist and a simple ring. The idea is NOT to look like a mode who just stepped off of a page in GQ or Esquire, because in all probability you will fail but most importantly that isn't who you are. Stay true to your style but refine it and you'll be pleasantly surprised how well received it is and you are.

On the ever sensitive subject of personal care guys, clip your nails and toe nails. The irony in men who berate women for their eagle talon like toe nails, only to find they themselves have toes that look as if they've been scratching blackboards their entire life is hilarious. Be what/who you want to get. I'm not saying a mani/pedi but damn take some pride in your feet. SHAVE SHAVE SHAVE!!! Now facial hair is an issue of personal preference, but everywhere else you should shave If so inclined or at least trim. As a youngster my grandmother enforced shaving my underarms and such as she told me hair holds sweat and therefore certain unattractive odors. So I go all out. Not that you have to but it is also a courtesy issue. I've never had a girl come up with a mouth full of hair and or called me a b*#+! in a rage because she felt shaving took away from my masculinity. If you are hairy and you wear it with Hasselhoff pride, go ahead and flaunt your lion's mane.

Just make sure you carefully trim and maintain the grounds. Iron your clothes unless there is no need. Sloppiness is not attractive in any forum. Women are extremely keyed into details. I promise you if there is anything amiss about your appearance she will dial into it. As we all are not perfect creatures you have to chalk up whatever she does find as a loss, but the idea is to make her job more difficult. Presentation is key, project yourself how you'd like to be perceived. But also allow your personality in its wonderous glory to show through. If you're particularly confident or funny play to those qualities. As far as personality traits and characteristics go, she's giving you the time of day because something(s) about you garnered her attention. This is realistically a trial and error deal as all women have different tastes for men of all walks of life. And most of us will never successfully display character traits that are appealing universally, simply because there really is no such thing. Do whatever it is you do best and adjust what doesn't work. You should however adhere to one rule... Appear always, confident in what you are doing and saying... It is easier to enter into an action boldly and with purpose as direction is very attractive to women who inertly seek men to take the reign in most settings.

Do not be afraid to clean up, Jesus guys put on that dress shirt, those dark wash jeans, a pair of loafers, and matching toned belt. Hold your head high and be proud to be among the army of well dressed, well versed, and pleasantly polished individuals of the world.