How to Become an Alpha Male By: Jay Adonis

Lesson 1: Getting It

I guess I'd have to say the number one thing all alpha males have and they have it in spades, is that they look like they're getting it. Now, I'll discuss later whether in fact this has anything to do with whether they actually ARE getting it, but that happens to be secondary to LOOKING like you are getting it. So if you are ever hope to climb up the ladder of the Greek alphabet to Alphadom, all the way from the sad, overpopulated backwaters of Omegaland -- you have to start looking like you are getting it. And what does that mean? Well, let's start with Pierce Brosnan, or any actor who ever played James Bond, in fact. Guys who look like they are getting it actually look a little post-coital -- hair a little messy, eyes a little tired. They look rather casual about it, even disinterested -- which is why they DO get it -- because they don't look like they're begging for it. And women always go for that -- it's the guy who looks like he doesn't care much if he gets it or not and also looks like he can get it whenever and whereever he wants, that gets you all stirred up -- he's a bit arrogant, he makes you slow down and take a second look. You think, "Well, who the hell does he think he is?" And once a woman's thought that, well, guys you are most decidedly in the driver’s seat. She's going to have that burning need to find out about you. So think of Bond again. He looks like he's got something better to do -- save the world, hang from a helicopter by one shoe lace, use his remote-control BMW to flatten terrorists -- and since he looks like he really doesn't have time for it, he actually manages to LOOK like he's getting it big time -- and in fact, he DOES get it, whenever he wants. Get it?

Lesson 2: Giving It

Okay, I have a theory about Bill Clinton. Let me say first off, I don't know him, haven't met him and really don't know too much more than what I may or may not have read in the papers about him. Except, I do know several people who've met him and there is something striking about all the descriptions I've heard of him. Almost all these recollections talk about one thing first -- and it's not sex. They talk about an essential Alpha Male quality -- he's got incredible energy -- and he knows how to give it to others. He's incredibly fun, engaging, energetic, smart as shit and gives as good as he gets. So here's Lesson Two -- if you really want to be an Alpha Male, you've got to give. You've got to give people pleasure, give people a reason to be near you, give guys a reason to wish they were you, give women a desire to have you, you've got to give and give and give. And as for giving good head, any Alpha Male worth their salt knows they have to get down on their knees now and then, and give another superior Alpha Male -- whether from a larger territory than their own, or simply an Alpha Male Emeritus, or an Alpha Male who dominates another discipline -- well, they have to give them their due, so to speak. Sometimes you're asking for it, but sometimes you've got to be willing to just give it. Don't be shy. You're the guy. You're the man. Just Do It.

Lesson 3: Confidence Game

After taking a few days off to collect my thoughts and try to pick out the next most important subject, I've hit on the subject of confidence. If there is one thing they have in spades, it's sheer, unmitigated, unflappable, nearly arrogant, but simply deliciously masculine Confidence. And they know how to use it. And they know it works. And they know it is an incredible turn-on. A new friend on email mentioned how many salesmen are Alpha Males and this got me thinking as well. Something they teach you in sales is to "assume the sale." This is especially important with women. Assume she wants to kiss you. Assume she wants to fuck you. Assume you will eventually wear down her high morals and you will get her into bed one of these days. Good salesmen assume the sale. They don't have time to doubt their success. They have rock hard confidence. My emailer complained that many of them are so arrogant that surely this did not attract women, but rather women found it repulsive. Well, yes, some are just too full of themselves, but even those win more often than they lose. Confidence is very attractive. It's even amusing. It makes you grin to watch some of these guys. Here's how the really good ones operate. Like all true artists they know that nothing is as successful as mixing extremes. They mix up the big boy slightly-arrogant confidence with surprising bursts of charming little boy shyness and "whoops, I blew it" contriteness. This gets the girl every time, though I think it mostly works because it leaves women completely confused and disarmed. Once you get a woman that off balance, if you have confidence and have assumed the sale all along, you make short work of your prey. Being confident is incredibly sexy. Being confident is incredibly powerful. Being confident is essentially "efficient" -- it just makes everyone go along with you and saves you time. Don't bother spending a minute doubting yourself. What the hell is that about? There are enough enemies, critics, naysayers and pessimists all around you to take care of doubting you. Why the hell would you waste time doubting YOU TOO? Again, I preach to the converted. You guys know this. The world is a pretty frightening place. Somehow or other, we get up in the morning believing we can manage to make it through the day. These days there's ample evidence against that notion. This is what's wonderful about men -- they challenge this world view with sheer testosterone and after-shave. They have courage. They have balls. They straighten their ties and get on with it. What Alpha Males know is that everyone needs to feel confidence and that it begins with them. They know their confidence is a gift. They share it with others. It makes it a much better world to live in. It's a confidence game.

Lesson 4: Alpha Males Have Things

I have an argument with my 7-year-old godson nearly every time I babysit him, without fail, at about 3 minutes before the bus is about to arrive and we have tear out of the house. He's dressed, he has his coat on, he has his backpack full of everything I figure he needs for the day. But no. We stop dead in our tracks with NO TIME to waste,he insists he must take something to school to "share." This sharing routine is about to kill me. We miss the bus over it on a regular basis. Or we have screaming matches for all the neighbors to hear as we rush to catch the bus, him dragging a heavy yellow metal bulldozer to take to school I beg him, "please, if you need to take something to school to share, put it in your bag first thing in the morning, or even better, how about the night before?" That never happens. So there is something absolutely drop-dead important about having a thing to take to school. "Sharing" has replaced "Show and Tell" and I miss what the heck the nuance of language is about, but it's some wacky political correctness to keep the kids from "Showing Off and Telling" I think. The point is, even at seven years old, my godson has figured out a basic rule of Alpha Male hood -- Alpha Males Have Things. They have cool things to show to girls. They have Hot Wheels, or candy bars, or GI Joes or Pokemon cards they drag around with them to show girls. Later when they grow up, the Hot Wheels turn into real wheels, the candy bars are dinner at a fancy restaurant in town and the GI Joes and Pokemon cards are any variety of cool things women want to look at, including beach houses on the Cape, trophy’s from tennis games, moose heads in cabins, or even your classic girl-getter, etchings. They have things and know how to say, "Hey, you've got to come over and see my _______. (fill in the blank with WHATEVER! ) The ancient joke about "would you like to come up and see my etchings" is based on this fact. It's always good to have things to show girls. If you can lure them into your room, apartment, house, mansion, castle or cave to look at something -- guess what -- they are standing there next to you looking at something. With any luck and a little sleight of hand, you can get them to stop looking at the thing you invited them to look at and LOOK AT YOU. And then, if they look at you and they like what they see, and you have any shred of Alpha Male instinct, and some good Brazilian background music by Joao Gilberto, or Barry White will do as well, you might actually get them to look at a thing that you have, that they don't have. They may tell you otherwise, but most of them want to look at your thing. So I always think of some early Alpha Male caveman trying to come up with some THING to show his Wilma Flintstone counterpart. He probably tried a lot of things that didn't work, like a tuft of grass -- boring, boring, boring -- or some water. A little more interesting but no great shakes. So then, at his wit's end, he looks over and she's at the door of the cave watching Eohippus gallop by (the dawn horse, of course) and he thinks, "Well, shit! Here I am showing her a handful of water and she wants to look that pathetic Eohippus. How the hell am I supposed to get her over here to stand next me, so I can smell her and she can smell me, and then we can fuck, when all she wants to do is look at that stupid animal?!" It hits him out of the blue and he grabs some old charcoal from last night’s meat roasting fire and draws a pretty lousy picture of a running horse on the cave wall. And then he's got a pointy stick to show her -- now that's a cool thing -- and a picture. Now he's getting somewhere. And she comes over to see the thing he made. And she likes it and likes the fact that he noticed she was watching the horse out the cave door and understood that he could please her by drawing the horse for her. Maybe, she reasons, as cavewomen were rather savvy I must say, maybe he could please me in other ways. Hell, she thinks, maybe he'd show me that other thing of his. So she stops looking at his etching and turns to look at him ... (and get ready kids, since the two of them are about to start history as we know it).. And she smiles at him and one thing leads to another.

More lessons to come……join this blog if you want to become that ever elusive guy that women want around!